San Diego, Ep. 1

April 13, 2010 — Good vibrations of the non-seismic variety buzzed the denizens of San Diego as a whopping eight contenders strove in ways aggro and not-so to claim the first-ever Literary Death Match San Diego crown at The Loft.  It was DimeStories' featured writer Shanna Mahin who triumphed in a proxy battle of Musical Beach Chairs, hefting high the spoils. 

In the spirit of tick-tocking co-host DimeStories, LDM contestants crunched performances to a swoon-inducing three minutes of superlative prose.   Members of the rapt audience set the brackets by random draw, the all-star panel of judges poised to pontificate, and the battle was on.

First off award-winning novelist Tammy Greenwood mesmerized all with a tale of nail polish and edible scabs, followed in short order by performer Sue Norberg's doleful and hilarious remembrance of synthetic fibers past.  After airing arguments pro and con the polyester rubbed the judges the right way, and Norberg advanced.

No time a-wasting, off were second round contestants Lizz Huerta and Alex Bosworth flinging hemp panties and dogged dogma, respectively.  After a shocking judicial expose by DimeStories ringmaster Amy Wallen, judge and City Beat editor Seth Combs’ endorsement of Huerta prevailed over musician J.D. Boucharde’s support of Bosworth.   Hosts Todd Zuniga and Kelli Ochoa rushed the crowd to intermission while the fractured bench repaired.

Duly hydrated, contestants, judges and hosts returned for yet another round of mania.  Soft-spoken UCSD dreamer Alec Venida mesmerized the hearts and guts of all, and Poetic Brew’s Eber Lambert lambert-blasted believers and non-believers alike with the uproarious case for heavenly scorn. Following yet another shocking revelation – this time cronyism of the conjugal variety – Boucharde and Combs forced the recusal of Wallen and advanced Venida to the finals.

Last round, SDSU’s Tony Bonds' whirling dervish provoked and delighted, and soon following Shanna Mahin stunned the audience in a tale of evacuative escapade in a duel to confound audience and judges alike.  Dazed, confused, and in desperate need of naps, the triumvirate deliberated and pronounced one last time and Shanna Mahin stepped forward as the night’s last finalist.

For a finale faster than a San Diego minute, or hour, or day, whatever, dude, Zuniga and Ochoa recruited four audience volunteers to serve as teammates for the four LDM finalists in a round of Musical Beach Chairs.  In octagonal peripatation, contestants and volunteers hip-checked one another to oblivion as the dulcet tunes of the Beach Boys started and stopped, started and stopped.  The final wave crashed and volunteer proxy to Shanna Mahin remained, leaving the other contestants flopping and flailing like sea trash after the tide.  Mahin hoisted her champion and assumed the LDM crown, roaring that she’s going to Disneyland, where by all accounts she remains yet.