NYC, Ep. 13

April 23, 2009—Deemed the unluckiest Literary Death Match of them all, NYC Ep. 13 was anything but. A steamy and stuffed Pianos was the site of a literary night of festive genius, in which B.C. Edwards won a fierce final battle of “Baseball Chopstick War” against co-finalist Cheryl Wagner by a final tally of 6-3. Edwards’ chopstick talents etched his name into the annals of LDM history.

The night kicked off with a savage battle between Wagner (Five Dials) and Amy Lawless (Black Maze Books). After winning the Dreamlets toss by co-host Erin Hosier (to decide who read first), Wagner elected to lead off, reading a chuckle-inducing tale about New Orleans that kept the crowd wide-eyed. Next up was Lawless, who breezed through a sequence of mesmerizing poems filled with whale blubber and lasciviousness. After both readers went over the 8-minute time limit, co-host Todd Zuniga handed the mic to the night’s cast of all-star judges, Anna deVries (Scribner), Scott Adsit (30 Rock) and Richard Lawson (Gawker). After a string of crack-up comments--in which Adsit gently chided Lawless for the hipster way in which the poems fell from her mouth--the judges huddled, before declaring Wagner the night’s first finalist.

B.C Edwards warms up the crowd.After a four-second intermission, the night continued with Heidi Julavits (The Believer) going story-to-story with Edwards (pax americana). A Dreamlets-toss victory by Julavits had her leading off, a cautionary bar tale that captivated with flawless text turns and twists. Next up was Edwards who read a Moscow-inspired piece that had the packed crowd on the edge of their stools. The judges, up against another near-impossible decision elected Edwards as the night’s second finalist.

Then came the have to be seen to be believed finale that pitted Edwards against Wagner in the LDM’s first-ever (and last?) Baseball Chopstick War™. The goal was to use chopsticks to fling foam balls at “batters” (Adsit and deVries) in an attempt to score five points--three points for a head shot, two for a body shot, one point for hitting a batter in the foot. Once the bell sounded go, never before had the world seen two such chopstick-disabled citizens. Wagner and Edwards struggled with the wooden sticks, barely able to hold air, let alone a foam ball. Then lightning struck and Wagner clipped Adsit in the crown (3-0!), then Edwards retaliated with a headshot of his own (3-3!), but then both went ice cold, the crowd confused yet still cheering, and finally Edwards tossed a strike at deVries head, pulling off a rousing 6-3 victory, and winning the Literary Death Match crown!

See all the photos from this event here!