Orlando, Ep. 2

November 13, 2011 — Beneath the prettifying lights of Orlando's fantastic Mad Cow Theatre, the giddy crowd witnessed Team Tod Caviness outduel Team Rachel Leona Kapitan by a score of 8-3 in an epically long Cyrillic-Off! that won Caviness the second-ever LDM Orlando crown, presented by Burrow Press. 

But before the slow-burn Serbia-inspired finale was set at center stage, the night kicked off with emergency fill-in Nathan Holic who wowed the band of curious onlookers with a story about a throwaway movie character. Then Tod Caviness followed with a ghoulish Halloween-skewed story about life as an undead member of Terror on Church Street.  

The mic was then turned over to the trio of all-star judges: the stupendous J. Bradley (author of Dodging Traffic and Interviews Editor at PANK Magazine), former NBA sensation (and poet!) Adonal Foyle, and the stunning photographer and video director Brook Pifer. The Deciding Three cracked gently wise, but it was Caviness who won their affection in the end, sending him on as the night’s first finalist. 

Then came Round 2, featuring the dazzling Rachel Leona Kapitan reeling off a story about friends, McDonald’s coffee and awkward sex. But not to be outdone, J. Christoper Siliva read two pieces: the highlight being a titter-inducing piece about bawdy sexual relations with a girl named Ceremony. 

Again the mic was handed to the judges, with Bradley praising Kapitan’s storytelling, Foyle praising Kapitan’s boots, and Pifer admitting sheer fascination at Silvia’s risqué stylings. But after a lengthy deliberation, it was Kapitan who was sent on as the night’s second finalist. 

Then LDM creator Todd Zuniga took center stage, pairing both Kapitan and Caviness with a volunteer from the audience, then explaining that they’d be tasked with deciphering the names of 15 Pulitzer Prize-winning authors that had been phonetically translated into Cyrillic. Caviness struck out to an early 3-0 lead, and while Team Kapitan made a mild comeback to cut the lead to 3-2, Team Caviness excelled in the later rounds, scoring a championship-securing 8th point, winning Caviness the Literary Death Match crown, and literary immortality to go with it. 

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