Quinnipiac, Ep. 3

October 2, 2014 — For our annual pilgrimmage to Quinnipiac University for a student battle like none other in support of Montage, Literary Death Match brought a brilliant trio of judges along, in a show that finished with Jessica Simpson outdueling co-finalist Justin Burnett in a Lone Star Lit finale by a score of 49-43 to win Simpson the LDM Quinnipiac, Ep. 3 finale. 

But before the finale was even a thought, Round 1 kicked off with a precisely told tale by Kara Fortier, followed by a meta-story by Justin Burnett about a story inside a story (via a camcorder). 

The mic was then handed to the trio of all-star judges: Jacob Tomsky, best-selling author of Heads in Beds; Founder of Short Story Thursdays; Dale Seever, host of Dale Radio, one of NY's favorite basement talk shows; and Sam Jay, stand-up comedy firestarter. The trio heaped praise, dished whimsy and considered the magic of both readers before they announced the night's first impossible decision, declaring Burneett the night's first finalist. 

Then came Round 2, led off by Jessica Simpson, who ripped off a commanding trio of poems that tackled misogyny, race and cologne. Finally it was Alex Danieli who started with a poem about growing lengthwise, followed by a break-up song with the aid of a guitar. 

The mic was again handed to the judges, who were endlessly impressed with both writers, applauding their pretty-much-everything before making the night's second impossible choice, deciding it would be Simpson who would advance as the night's second finalist. 

Then up stepped LDM creator Adrian Todd Zuniga, who announced the night's finale: Lone Star Lit, in which he read off 1-star Amazon book reviews written about classic books. The finalists, teamed with volunteers, traded points, and with everything to play for on the final question, it was Team Simpson who slapped the bell first, nailing the final answer, winning her the LDM Quinnipiac, Ep. 3 medal and literary immortality to go with it. 

Follow us on Twitter: @litdeathmatch