LA, Ep. 7

April 12, 2012 — In one of the most glorious affairs in Literary Death Match history, countless stars were on display at Busby's East, as a wild and winding night finished with DERRICK Comedy's DC Pierson outlasting co-finalist and YA mastermind Cecil Castellucci in a nip-tuck, 3-frame Literary Bowling affair that ended 18-14 winning Pierson the Literary Death Match LA, Ep. 7 crown. 

First to titilliate the audience with delight was the peerless author/Writ Large Press founder Chiwan Choi (author of The Flood) who, in lilting tones, offered up a trio of beautiful and desolate poems of Korean families and abductions from his book, Abductions. Next came Cecil Castellucci (author of The Plain Janes and Boy Proof) who read a sensitively poised story of youth and first kisses, inducing whimpers of appreciation from the crowd.

The mic was then handed over to the ‘the terrific trio’ of all-star judges: Big Love writer/producer Seth Greenland (author of The Angry Buddhist), comedic actor Jason Mantzoukas (The League and Parks & Recreation), and Community writer/story editor Megan Ganz. The judges picked up on the dangerous, sad and richly poetic ambience in Choi, but were especially appreciative that one of the characters had a ‘stain on his pants’ (fictional, we think). Turning their attention to Castellucci, they mused that it was like an episode of Dawson’s Creek written by Carson McCullers. Mantzoukas said the story contained all of his three favourite narrative elements: blankets, kissing and pee. After a heated debate amongst the judges, it was Castellucci that was advanced as the night’s first finalist. The booze-begat intermission followed in swift succession.

Then came Round 2 which was, frankly, a laugh riot. Mishna Wolff (author of the best-seller I'm Down) launched into a hilarious tale of bleeding hands and drug-fueled existential pain, full of bitterness, resentment and ‘meth coffee.’ The crowd thought she couldn’t be bettered, but DC Pierson (author of The Boy Who Couldn't Sleep And Never Had To) stormed through a guttural and gangster diatribe about everything from Cubism to the Great American Novel, spoken from the psyche of someone who was ‘all up in that shit.' It was followed by a ‘true’ tale of aliens and wild speculation.

The mic was once again thrust into the judges’ possession, and they promptly showered praise on Wolff with a variety of words including ‘salivating,’ ‘erotic,’ ‘disturbing,’ and ‘lunch meats.’ Mantzoukas thought it was all an allegory for a girl’s first period, while Ganz said simply, “Brunch sometime?” For Pierson they were even more effusive, reeling through miscellaneous topics like cardigans, Drew Barrymore and the difficulty of having a girlfriend because ‘bitches be crazy.’ Another impossible decision, but after lengthy deliberation, the judges decided it was Pierson who would be the night's second finalist. 

Then came another wondrously odd finale. LDM creator Adrian Todd Zuniga & LDM LA Associate producer Luke Haskard took center stage to oversee each finalist (with the help of a volunteer) bowl three frames of Easter-sad Cadbury Eggs at a ten-pin arrangement of books. In a display of rare accuracy and execution, and with the help of his Dick Weber-like teammate, Pierson was crowned the winner of Literary Death Match LA, Ep. 7, winning literary immortality along with it. 

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